Laurel Luehmann

Eighteen – My Mid-Term Reflections

January 11, 2021by Laurel LuehmannLeave a Comment

I’ve hit the half-way mark in my eighteenth year.

Did it meet my expectations?

Uh, no. Big no. My little-kid self assumed that when one turns eighteen, one magically becomes an adult, assumes adult responsibilities with ease, has everything figured out in life, and does big things.

Maybe that happens to everyone else… but it sure didn’t happen to me.

Looking back, I see that much of this slice of life was spent just trying to get the hang of life as a graduated adult with work instead of school, and a whole lot of things to figure out. I did a lot of journaling. And crying. And laughing. And praying. And thinking. And writing. And smiling. And farming. Lots of little things filled my life – and joy – to overflowing.

I had big plans to write my novel, take writing classes, and probably stop mixing feed for the cows on the family farm. (No offense, cows…) I wanted an orderly lifestyle with few or no complications. Ha.

Instead, I grew to love the crazy diversity that defines this season of my life. I fell ~~mostly~~ in love with my job on the farm and decided to keep it. I got to take on some babysitting. I didn’t take many writing classes. I didn’t make as much progress on my novel as I had naively planned. I got shoved into situations that stretched me…

But am I happy with how the last six months have panned out?

Absolutely.

They most certainly did not go according to my tidy, boring little plans. Oh, no. Instead, they gave me the opportunity to experience a huge, crazy mash-up of joy, pain, humor, irony, sacrifice, stumbling, disappointment, failure…

And fulfilment beyond my wildest dreams.

When God starts to change my plans, my first response is to wail, No, God. You don’t understand. This is how it’s supposed to go. Really.

To which He gently, but firmly, responds, Ah, but this is how it must go. Just wait and see… and soon you’ll know why.

I’m not at the end of my story, but I can already see some of the blessings that have come because God turned my plans upside down. I’m not holding so tightly to the security offered by things, plans, circumstances, or even people anymore. I’m not as scared of trying new things. I want Him more.

And I’m actually excited to hand Him the pen for these next six months – for the rest of my life – and to watch in breathless anticipation as He continues to write my story for me.

What are some things that you learned in your eighteenth year of life? Or are learning? Or wish to learn?

Photo credit: Jonna @thru.t.h.e.lens

Uncategorized

God and Current Events – My Thoughts

January 7, 2021by Laurel Luehmann3 Comments

If my emotions depended just on the news…

You probably don’t want to know.:)

But honestly… I think that no matter where a person stands on politics, coronavirus-related policies, etc., every single one of us has a fairly legitimate reason for being sickened/depressed/frustrated by the news. America just left an epic year of division and unrest in the dust… and by the looks of it, 2021 isn’t looking promising, either.

Honestly, I’m pretty frustrated.

I want my nation to be indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Most of all, I want America to be one nation under God… but she’s not. She’s broken and hurting and sinful, spitting in the face of the One who has been so patient with her.

This wasn’t my plan, God.

In the past year, the one truth keeping me at peace with what’s going on in our nation is this:

God retains complete control over everything.

When I find myself getting worked up about what’s happening, I come back to this and calm down. There is nothing else that brings me more peace than this fact – that the One who loves me more than I can fathom is the One with whom nothing is impossible. The One who has all of what I see as a mess ordered in His perfect will.

I wanted to remind you of this today… just in case life has you in the dumps. Come on out of there, friend. God’s got this. He’s working all things out for His glory and the good of those who love Him. Rest in Him. ❤

-Laurel

Poetry

In Love – a Poem

January 4, 2021by Laurel Luehmann3 Comments

Happy Monday, all!

Please know that this story – this incredible love – is absolutely real, and extended to you. God loves you more than you can fathom.:)

How He can think

I’m

Lovely

Is a

Mystery to me.

That He would

Choose

This

Wobbly soul

To fight for

Him and

His

Seems like an act of…

What?

He knows I’m not

Enough.

He knows that I’m not

Strong.

He knows the

Winds

That pound this

Heart

Near steal its beat

Some days

And yet

He chooses me.

Seems like an act of…

What?

He feels each

Hurt

More deeply than

My own heart

Ever will.

He weeps

When

Self-love

Steals

My heart

And yet…

He wants me still.

Clothes catching on the

Brambles

That are tearing at His

Skin

He fights

For me

And takes me as

His own.

He stays.

This is an act of…

Love.

It leaves me

Breathless

Tearful and

Completely forever

In love.

Journaling, Personal, reading

Recent Reads, Journal Snippets, + Highlights of December 2020

December 31, 2020December 31, 2020by Laurel Luehmann4 Comments

The last day of December. The last day of 2020. Whoa. I’m going to fully enjoy the final hours of this historic year.:)

Highlights of the Month

Reading!!!
Christmas shopping as a family… or shopping with various fragments of family, climbing in and out of different vehicles and trying to hide certain things from certain people because, you know, Christmas secrets.
Walks – alone or with crazy sisters
Sneaking peeks and ~~too many pics~~ of gorgeous sunrises
Chatting with friends
Decorating my bullet journal
Writing about a spunky new character in my fantasy novel
Making crash potatoes
Christmas cookie creation time
Playing Balderdash with creative siblings
A journal-reading session with my brother

What I’ve Been Reading

Devotedly: the Personal Letters and Love Story of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot – Valerie Elliot Shepard

Okay, I am loving this one! I’ve always appreciated the story of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot’s relationship, so it’s been amazing to read more about it in this book. Also, it is crammed full of journals and letters – something that makes my heart happy.:)

Shadow of the Almighty – Elisabeth Elliot

Best. Biography. Ever. The end.

June Bug – Chris Fabry

It’s been awhile since a book kept me turning page after page way too late into the night (or early morning) but this book is doing that to me. It’s written so well… but due to certain things mentioned/implied in the book, I don’t recommend it for younger readers.

The Prodigal’s Sister – John Piper

This twist on the parable of the prodigal son is beautiful, poetic, and delightful to read.

Journal Snippets

Oh, God, put Your love in my heart. For my family. For my friends. For those I don’t want to call friends. For Your body. For the down-trodden. For those with whom I disagree. For You.

Oh, Lord, may I ever hear Your words, forsake the counsel of my own heart, and turn my eyes from idols, looking only to You. I don’t want to be “profitable for nothing”. (Jeremiah 13)

When I make my goals, Lord, let them not be according to the dictates of my own evil heart [Jeremiah reference], but according to Your pure plan.

I feel battered but sure of God’s goodness and hold on my life. I hurt. I don’t understand… but I trust. And that is enough. God leads me on day by day, faithfully.

Remember… life is not about you.

The biggest thing I see standing in my way is… a disenchantment with the Lover of my soul. Soul, love Him! Desire Him! Stir yourself up to answer His call. Break up your fallow ground – seek and serve Him in the mundane. Though mists of uncertainty veil the way, do something. Stay in shape so that when God throws you into a crisis, you will be fit for the task. Don’t waste a moment.

And there it is… the last post of 2020. What will this coming year bring?

I want to thank you for sticking with me and reading what’s on my heart… I am so blessed to have such amazing support. I hope that this year is simply wonderful for you… that God would bless you through the trials, be your joy in the mundane, and draw you ever closer to Himself in the coming year and each year to come.

-Laurel

This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you purchase something through one of the links I share in this post, I receive a small commission… at no extra cost to you.:)

Personal

The Liebster Award!!!

December 28, 2020December 28, 2020by Laurel Luehmann6 Comments

I was recently nominated for The Liebster Award by Grace over at Don’t You Know I’m Singing! Thank you so much, Grace… I’m super excited about this one.

First of all, here are the rules:

First, thank the person who nominated you, include a link to their blog, and add the Liebster Award badge to your blog and/or post.
Next answer the eleven questions from the person who nominated you.
Give eleven random facts about yourself.
Nominate 5-11 fellow bloggers with less than 200 followers.
Notify your nominees that you nominated them for the Liebster Award.
Last, but certainly not least, ask your nominees eleven questions.

Okay… here we go! Here are my answers to Grace’s questions (which, by the way, were extremely thought-provoking!).

What is one line/verse from one song that you really love, and why?

You can’t know how torturous it is to have to pick only one… but here it is:

“I don’t need to recognize the man in the mirror – and I don’t wanna trade Your plan for something familiar – I can’t waste a day, I can’t stay the same, I wanna be different.” – from Different by Micah Tyler Begnaud and Kyle Lee

This line is from one of my current favorite songs… and it really reminds me of the importance of following and pursuing God when it means going beyond the status quo – or even standing out and looking weird or ridiculous to those around me. Ultimately, God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

What is a song you absolutely hate, and why?

Is this even possible? Haha… I don’t know if I absolutely hate any song… I’m not really familiar with any I strongly dislike.

What are your thoughts on politics, and a Christian’s role in that realm?

Ooh… do you have time for a three-hour discussion???

In a nutshell, I’m very passionate about politics. I am definitely in the conservative category, although I don’t tie myself down too much to specific parties or ideologies. My goal is to weigh each political issue against what I find in the Scriptures, and firmly take my stand based on that.

I believe that Christians are indeed headed to a heavenly country… but that in no way negates the reality and importance of our participation in the government of our earthly country! God desires that His people do justly (Micah 6:8), and I see involvement in politics and government as one way of living that out.

Who, aside from your parents, siblings, and relatives, has been a role model in your life, and how/why did they become a role model to you?

Jim Elliot is one of my role models… I received Shadow of the Almighty, his biography, for my sixteenth birthday, and I’ve been learning from him ever since. I love his fiery passion for the Lord, his honesty, and his complete surrender of his life to God. I don’t agree with the stance he took on everything, but I have learned so much from his legacy. His journals also inspired me to journal more frequently and passionately. I am definitely looking forward to meeting him one day!

Do you celebrate Christmas in your family? Why or why not?

Yes! We have always celebrated Christmas… so partially because of tradition. But I really love all the little things in celebrating the Christmas season that point me to God, His love for me, and the incredible story He has written. And the extra time with family is amazing.:)

What’s your favorite aspect of creation?

Another hard one… can I say every aspect??? To narrow it down, though, the complexity of the human body puts me in complete awe of God… and I really love a good sunrise.:)

If there was one talent you could magically have, what would it be?

Being able to clear up misunderstandings between people every single time. Life would be so much simpler if miscommunications were eliminated!

Do you have any allergies/dietary restrictions? And what are they?

To my knowledge, none whatsoever… I count myself blessed!

If you could time travel into the future or the past, which way would you go? Forwards or backwards?

Backwards, backwards… I’m a history buff.

What movie/book character have you read/watched whose personality seemed to be exactly the same as yours, and who was the opposite?

Hmm… this is another hard one. I feel like I can identify with basically any character in one way or another, but I’ve always sympathized with Jo March from Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women – although now I’m more like her personality after she passed the tomboy stage.:) We both love writing, words, acting, and debates, have strong opinions (although she was much more vocal about them than I am) and love our families like crazy.

I can’t think of any characters who seem to be the opposite of me… I guess I never really thought about that!

What are your personal boundaries on what you can/shouldn’t watch or listen to in the area of entertainment as a Christian?

The apostle Paul’s words “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful” comes to mind when I think about this topic. I don’t necessarily have a list of “dos and don’ts” when it comes to entertainment. My desire is to glorify God with the way that I live, and to have my focus on Him and His will for me. So if something I’m reading/watching/listening to is pulling me away from Him or blurring my vision, that’s a good sign that I shouldn’t keep reading/watching/listening, even if the entertainment itself isn’t inherently sinful. If the entertainment is inherently sinful, then that’s a definite no for me.

11 random facts about myself

I love strong coffee.
I passed out for the first and only time after watching the 2020 VP debate. (No, the two events were unrelated… but wouldn’t that have been exciting?)
I am a firstborn and love it. POWER!!! Haha… that’s not the only reason I love it.:)
I’ve never gotten stitches.
I’m not a big fan of animals… but I do like worms. Go figure.
I’ve only finished writing one long-ish story – a six chapter historical fiction piece. I wrote it as a tween, and it was awful.
I love Romans 12:1-2.
My favorite short story is “The Gift of the Magi” by O. Henry. One of the sweetest Christmas stories ever!
I used to be terrified of operating any piece of equipment larger than a dishwasher. Now I drive tractors and skid loaders for my job!
I love fairy lights.
Dickens is one of my favorite authors.

And I am going to nominate…

And my questions for my nominees:

How did you choose the name for your blog?
If you could work any job for one week, what job would it be, and why?
What is the biggest thing you’ve learned from blogging?
What does your ideal weekend look like?
Do you set goals for the New Year?
What is the best book (aside from the Bible) that you’ve read, and why do you think so?
What was the best thing that happened to you in 2020?
Which historical figure do you most admire, and why?
Where do you hope to see yourself in 10 years?
If you knew that today was your last day on earth, how would you spend it?
What is your favorite Bible verse, and why?

If you made it this far, good job and thank you.:) Would you like to answer any of these questions? Please do so in the comments!

Uncategorized

Christmas Reflections… Am I Playing Herod?

December 24, 2020by Laurel Luehmann2 Comments

A few days ago I was reading the Christmas story to my littlest sister… a story I’ve heard a thousand times over. Sadly, being so familiar with it sometimes hardens my perception of its wonder. But a new thought hit me as I read to her the part about Herod.

Am I being Herod?

You’re probably thinking, What an terrible thing to say. But hear me out. Herod was the king of Judea… and very comfortable in his position of authority. Even though Jesus was a baby, and destined to save His people in a far different way than anyone imagined, Herod saw Him as a serious threat to his authority.

When Jesus comes into our lives, He poses a very serious threat to our position of authority. It’s His nature ’cause He’s, well, God. Completely deserving of all authority.

So how do we respond to this? Do we accept His rule in our lives? Or do we follow Herod’s example and try to retain our own authority?

Obviously, our desperation to remain king of our own lives is manifested in a far different way than Herod’s was. We fight for our rights in tiny, subtle ways… and therein lies the danger.

Choice by choice, thought by thought, little deed by little deed, we cling to our authority in rebellion. Somehow we think that we’re wiser than God. That His ways are not the best ways… ours are.

We’re wrong, of course. But still we fight Him.

How foolish.

First of all, as Christians, we have been bought at a price. We belong to the Lord – we’ve given our lives to Him, and we have no right to take them back.

Second of all, it’s unreasonable. Romans 11:36 and 12:1 state, … of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen. I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

Surrendering all that we are to God’s all-deserving authority is the only reasonable thing to do. Think about it – why wouldn’t we surrender our lives to the all-knowing, perfect God of love?

How can we look at history and see the way God has beautifully woven it together and not trust Him with the story of our own lives? How can we look at Jesus’ birth, life, death, and resurrection – the ultimate proof of God’s love – and not trust that God will rule our lives in the most loving and perfect way possible?

Seriously… how?

Let’s not be fools. Let’s not be like Herod and resist the authority of the Lord. Let’s surrender everything we are to God this Christmas season… and every day until eternity.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

life, Personal

Year-End Reflections

December 21, 2020by Laurel Luehmann2 Comments

I can hardly believe it’s nearly Christmas… and nearly the end of this epic year. The end of any year always has me a bit contemplative – I remember December 31, 2009, when I was sadly pondering the fact that a decade was about to end… and we would never have it back. A pretty heavy thought for a seven-year-old.:)

Reveling in the memories of the past year and looking forward to the future is something I deeply enjoy at the end of each year. Join me, if you wish!

Looking back…

I see one of the most amazing years of my life, honestly. I almost feel badly saying that, because I know this has been a terrible year for so many. But seriously, God has blessed me so much in spite of the trials. New friends, new experiences, new responsibilities, new opportunities… it’s all one big crazy mess of blessings.

It certainly wasn’t without it’s trials, though. At all. This has also been one of the hardest years I’ve had so far. But I know that the most amazing times of growth in my life come through and after the trials, and this year was one huge growing party! I’m still so far from where I want to be… but here are some of the things God’s taught me/reminded me of this year:

I am not in control of my life. God is.
God’s plan for me is perfect, and He has me in just the right place at just the right time… always.
With great privileges come great responsibilities.
Time is short, and I can’t afford to waste it.
People are more important than the things I often prioritize before them.
God’s word is vital in my life.
God needs to come first in my life, no matter what.

Looking forward…

As always, I’m so excited to see what this coming year will hold. I know it will hold challenges… but it will hold so many joys, as well – I’m sure of that! And growth. Lots of growth.:)

Setting goals for the coming year is also something I love to do at this time. Not just the practical goals, like cleaning my room/keeping it that way (which has seriously been on my list of goals for the new year for as long as I can remember), but also goals that will help me develop as a person and disciple of Christ. Goals that will draw me nearer to Him and make me a stronger and better representative of Him.

What are your thoughts on this past year? The coming year? Do you enjoy setting goals? As always, I would love to hear from you!

life

Take My Life, God… Really?

December 14, 2020by Laurel Luehmann7 Comments

It’s a song I love. It’s a song I love to sing. But it’s a song that’s really hard for me to live.

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

There are days when I don’t really want to live this. Instead, I end up living an oxymoron. In the morning, I come to God and re-surrender my life to Him. Here, God, it’s Yours. I live for You.

Fast-forward a few minutes to where He’s taking me up on my offer. I’m suddenly snatching my life back and clenching it in my fists.

God, You know that conversation is going to get really stretched out, and I don’t want to give that much of my time…

You want me to love them??? Didn’t You see how they hurt me???

God, it was a long day and I’m exhausted… I don’t want to go on a walk with her.

But anyway… take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

I’ll sing it, God… but I won’t live it.

You are near in their mouth but far from their mind. – Jeremiah 12:2b

It breaks my heart when I find myself living this awful oxymoron. How can I claim to love God, yet trample over His desires for me in pursuit of my own? Christianity can’t work this way. It doesn’t work this way.

Surrender is surrender. No bones about it. When we surrender ourselves to God, we give Him everything. Literally everything.

We give Him our time and the way we spend it. We give Him our family and friends and our interactions with them. We give Him all of our possessions and what we do with them. We give Him our talents and the way we use them. We give Him our longings, our passions, our hopes, our dreams…

We give Him everything.

And we don’t take it back.

That’s what it means to be an all-out disciple of Christ.

I don’t wanna spend my life stuck in a pattern
And I don’t wanna gain this world but lose what matters
And so I’m giving up everything because

I wanna be different
I wanna be changed
‘Til all of me is gone
And all that remains
Is a fire so bright
The whole world can see
That there’s something different
So come and be different in me

-from Different by Kyle Lee and Micah Tyler Begnaud

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

writing

Psalm 138 In My Own Words

December 10, 2020by Laurel Luehmann2 Comments

With all that I am, God, I will praise You. In the face of all that seeks to turn my eyes from You, I will sing Your praises loud.

I worship You, Lord – because of Your tender affection. Because of Your truth. Because You have magnified Your word above all Your name.

When I cried out, You answered me; You filled my soul with strength and made me fearless.

When the rulers of the world hear Your words, my God, they will cry out in praise of You.

Yes… they will sing of Your ways, for great is Your glory, my King!

Though You are exalted above all, my Lord, You still take interest in the lowly. With the proud, however, You do not have intimate fellowship.

Even though I’m walking in hardship right now, You will revive me – with Your hand You will ward of the wrath of my enemies – You will save me with Your right hand.

Lord, You will bring to perfect completion all that weighs on my mind. Your mercy endures forever, my God – do not forsake those You have created.

reading, writing

The Problem with Christian Fiction

December 7, 2020by Laurel Luehmann10 Comments

Shocked you again, didn’t I?

But seriously, though… today I want to share with you about the problem I have with many works of Christian fiction.

They force a message/moral on the reader.

I don’t know how many times I’ve been turned off of a Christian fiction book because of preachiness. A stiff sermon in the form of fiction really frustrates me. If you really want to write an essay on Christianity, please just go do it. ‘Cause that’s what your exposition should be. Please don’t mask it with fiction.

I firmly believe that fiction should not be a platform for preaching. Tell your story and let it do its thing.

Disclaimer: please understand that I’m not knocking sermons or essays… I love them. I’m just saying that they have their own distinct place… they don’t need to masquerade in fictitious literature.🙂

Believe it or not, it’s possible to glorify God through fiction without preaching at your readers.

The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like the stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mould [sic] us. – Oswald Chambers

I believe this applies to fiction, as well. I can’t tell you how many works of fiction have made me stop in my tracks and evaluate my relationship with God and how I live it out… without being preachy. The writer just let the story play out… and let me, the reader, learn from the natural flow of the story.

In my opinion, writing a story to teach your readers a lesson is stepping into dangerous territory.

A couple of years ago, God was teaching me something amazing. My natural reaction was to share my new-found knowledge with others. And so I thought…

Why not write my (beloved) Civil War story so the main character learns the lesson I just learned?

So I started doing it. I planned to put my main character through a series of disastrous and depressing events (which is something my writer’s heart morbidly enjoys doing), and have her come through this scarring experience with the realization that Jesus was enough for her, no matter what.

Thankfully I set that project aside for a time. When I came back to it, having learned more about the writing craft and just life in general, I realized I had messed up.

I was trying to force my story into a preconceived mold. A preachy mold.

I know people laugh when writers complain about their characters getting out of control and doing things the writer never meant for them to do… but it’s a real struggle. A well-developed character should surprise its creator and do things that it was never “supposed” to do. Annoying as this is, letting the characters live their lives authentically is one of the best things a writer can do.

Trust that your readers can learn from your characters’ experiences without preachy interference.

I’m certainly not implying that stories shouldn’t have themes and morals… they should. True stories have these! In short, I’m saying that the stories you write can (and should!) be meaningful and convicting without being awkward and preachy.

Let your story be just that – a story. Trust the incredible power of fiction… let your story play out and let your readers glean from it what they will… just like they observe real life and glean from it without exposition.

This is my opinion… what’s yours? Do you agree with me? Disagree? A little bit of both? Please share… I always love feedback and discussion.:)