Seek Out the Light

“God, I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel like I’m trying to walk in the dark.”

Thankfully I’ve learned to habitually look at life’s uncertainties with excitement and wonder, viewing them as opportunities to see God’s matchless skills as a storyteller break through my confusion someday and amaze me. But the other day, using some quiet time on the road to think about life, I’d finally had it. I’d become so frustrated with the veil of uncertainty that lies over the future. I was tired of the doubts, the unknowns, my weaknesses…

I’d gotten sick of being in the dark, and I told God so.

The words were barely out of my mouth when a portion of Scripture that’s been ingrained in my mind for as long as I can remember came slowly into focus.

Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105)

Your word. A light to my path.

The exasperated complaints died on my lips as I considered this, wondering how much of my confusion was my own fault.

I make sure I have God’s word in front of me in some form every single day… whether that’s through reading, studying, or running memorized Scripture through my head – preferably all three. I’ve made that a habit because I know that God’s word is essential for me. But am I seeking it out with passion… truly seeking it out?

If I’m walking in a dark room I don’t know very well, I look for a good light source… unless I’m trying to let myself get creeped out, which isn’t often.:) I don’t just content myself with the moonlight slipping through the blinds, or the shreds of light filtering in from a distant room. I don’t just grope around my surroundings, stumping blindly around and hoping I don’t tear off a toe on a piece of furniture.

I seek out the light.

If that’s the case, then why do I grope my way through the shadows of life, bumping against obstacles in my path, crying inside with frustration when I hurt myself and can’t seem to find the right path?

I’ve got to seek out the light.

I’ve got to immerse myself in the truth of Scripture. Tuck it away in my memory. Blast it through my earbuds. Sing it. Pray it. Stop pitying myself because I can’t seem to find my way in a self-inflicted darkness. Instead, I need to open the floodgates of my soul to the light of God’s word.

I’ve got to seek out the light.

With passion.

Photo by Cathy Mü on Unsplash

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.